Because Blogger's "Adult warning" often goes into a perpetual loop (isn't working properly), I will be making all new posts at my WordPress blog. You can follow it even if you do not have a WordPress Account. There're also my Twitter and my Tumblr blog, my Facebook and my Google+ page and my group.
(Update: Blogger hasn't fixed its problem with the "adult warning". Will go back to posting at my WordPress blog)

Monday, September 9, 2013

Many splendoured

These two blokes ("Brandon" & "Brent", from Sean Cody) are porn actors.  They fuck each other on camera.  One doubts that they are in fact actors, in the sense that they can convincingly portray an emotion they don't feel.  So their obvious affection for each other is likely real.  It's abundantly clear that they are very fond of each other. For all we know, they might be gay for pay.  I know so many stories of blokes who primarily identify as straight but are nevertheless capable of being very, very fond of another man, of finding him (and only him) sexy and attractive and fuckable.

 Love comes in so many forms.  We love our dog or cat, we "love" chocolates, we love our parents, our children, our friends, our lovers, our spouses, a favourite uncle or aunt or niece or nephew.

Yet, somehow, our culture still devalues sexual love, unless it's in a tightly contained context.  But the truth is that people who are not in love with each other can nevertheless love each other.  When they fuck, they are making love.  Even if they aren't "in love".

We spend a lot of time judging sex by its contexts (are they married? are they being unfaithful? are they ....?) when the really critical factor is love, in all its many splendoured glory.  If you truly care for, are concerned for, value, consider and are affectionate towards your partner, why is is that wrong, or less valuable than the kind of love which is supposed to be the only valid kind?

We are perhaps the most successful species on Earth (except for those species, like rats and dogs and cockroaches, who associate with us) and the reason is that we co-operate. And we can co-operate because we are capable of love, not romantic fluff, but something more solid: the kind of solid fellow-feeling which allows us to interact without slaughtering each other.  Men are capable of loving other men, deeply, even if they are "straight".  Even if they are porn actors.

[I talked about this before, here and here]

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