Monday, November 14, 2016
I write sex scenes in my novels and short stories. Sex is a natural part of life. How many people do you know who've been murdered? Yet it's OK to put murder, sometimes graphic murder into writing, yet somehow we shouldn't put in sex? Most of us have made love hundreds or thousands of times, but very very few of us have committed a murder or know someone who has been killed.
Why this absurdity? Well, like so many things, it's based in religion. The Abrahamic religions are opposed to the enjoyment of sex, make lots of dotty rules about how and who you should have sex with, and basically regard sex as somethings shameful, which if it has to take place, should only take place in private behind closed doors, and really, only the missionary position is OK, and if the woman enjoys it too much, it's a sin and you'll go to Hell.
Sex is wonderful and good and natural. All kinds of sex. In all kinds of positions. For me, the only law is that you mustn't hurt your partner. Of course, some people are into pain, and if that's your thing then make absolutely certain it's consensual. But don't be unkind, don't deceive people to persuade them to have sex with you, don't have sex with minors, don't be cruel, make sure your partner(s) has/have pleasure too, and don't treat sex just as a physical thing. It is one of the most profound ways we can connect. Humans live inside discrete bodies, and connecting the hearts and souls inside different people is hard, Sex and sexual attraction helps us join together.
I'm going to continue to write about people have sex: gays, straights, threesomes. And I'm going to continue to show how the sex makes them love each other more, even if it's just a little bit more. We don't have many transcending moments in our lives. Humdrum rules, no? So let's rejoice in the pleasure and magic and joy of sex and love, with the emphasis on the love.