Nikolaos' Place

Roping by moonlight

2012-02-24T03:59:00.000-08:00

Cowboys. And Indians. Romance to the power three.

How absurd it all is! Romance I mean, and the personas we assume and discard. Why are cowboys -- and Indians -- so erotic to us effete moderns?

Art Deco beauty

2012-02-23T12:32:00.001-08:00

The Auburn. A short-lived brand -- but it produced some utterly beaut cars.

Hot and cold

2012-02-22T12:36:00.004-08:00

Ex gay bullshit

2012-02-21T18:43:00.003-08:00

I've ranted before about the Christian-Fascist bigotry and homo-hatred. But in fact all the Abrahamic religions have homophobic tendencies: Jews, Christians and Muslims.

Have a look at this blog, Gotta Give 'Em Hope, by a gay Orthodox Jew, Chaim Levin. Read a few of the posts. They will make you incandescent with rage at the way he was and still is being treated by the community, and filled with admiration at his courage and tenacity.

Head's up from Truth Wins Out.

Men are bastards

2012-02-21T11:38:00.000-08:00

Obsessed with sex, driven by their small heads, not their big ones, afraid to love, afraid to care and hyper-competitive.

Yeah, yeah, I know. It's a generalisation. And I know one or two top blokes, who are loving, kind, caring, compassionate, thoughtful, honest and good. Some of them -- will wonders never cease! -- are even straight. There ya go.

But the broad male culture ... I hate it.

Playful

2012-02-20T11:27:00.000-08:00

Kindness & courage

2012-02-19T19:03:00.000-08:00

''Life is mostly froth and bubble, two things stand like stone, kindness in another's trouble, courage in your own''

From the Australian poet, jockey and politician Adam Lindsay Gordon

Bizarre wrestling

2012-02-19T18:41:00.000-08:00

I know wrestlers sometimes get aroused by all that sweaty man-to-man contact, but ... um ... WTF?

Born to dance

2012-02-19T11:41:00.000-08:00

An article about the artistic director of the Australian ballet, David McAllister.

I particularly liked this:

BARBARA Langley couldn't believe her eyes. It was the early 1980s and Langley, then assistant ballet mistress with the Australian Ballet, was on Mt Alexander Road in Moonee Ponds, waiting for a tram to take her to work. When the lights changed to allow people to cross the busy road, Langley was surprised to see a young man doing grand jetes (ballet's version of the split-jump) across the intersection. She instantly recognised him as David McAllister, one of a particularly talented group of boys at the Australian Ballet School.

There were two remarkable aspects of this, she recalls: the first was that no one really seemed to notice; the second was that the boy did not appear to be showing off. Rather, it was ''sheer exuberance'', as though the dancing had taken charge of him, rather than the other way around.

I felt that way about ballet too, though I came to it much later than he did. I can't tell you how much I miss it. That feeling of ... creating magic; the sheer physicality of dancing; the way it feel like meditation for your body; the music. Ah well. My knees won't stand it now. I don't much mind the other side effects of getting old. But having to stop dancing ... that's so hard.

And this resonated, too:

Then, in 1970, at just seven, young David saw something that would change his life: a television documentary on the touring ballet superstar Rudolf Nureyev.

He was instantly smitten with the dancing he had seen, and begged his parents to take him to classes. At first, they resisted, partly because they weren't sure about a boy learning ballet.
''I think they thought it was a bit of a phase I was going to get over,'' he recalls.

But he was so insistent that, after a year of his pleas, they yielded. In his excitement, McAllister made the tactical error of announcing to the class at his all-boys Catholic school that he was now learning ballet. The bullying followed soon after, and dogged him through his schooling. Worse still, the head nun called his parents to the school and tartly informed them that ''little boys don't learn ballet''. Fortunately, the meeting had the opposite effect to the one the nun intended, galvanising his father's support for his dancing.

Why on earth shouldn't little boys learn ballet? It's not as if he wished to study to become a killer, or a thief, or a rapist. These bizarre notions of what constitutes a man!

If you would like to follow the Australian Ballet (who will be visiting the US later this year) their blog is here.

Beach Hunk

2012-02-19T11:14:00.000-08:00

Back from Noz

2012-02-19T00:50:00.000-08:00

I've been back from my holiday for over a week now, and apart from the fact that I have to catch up with all the work which piled up for me while I was away, I feel as if I've never been away.

We stayed with my brother-, sister- and mother-in-law in Tauranga and Athenree. This part of Noz, though it's as far south as Melbourne, has a clement climate, so warm and mild that in the garden of the cottage at Athenree, there was a paw-paw tree, an avocado tree, a plum tree (laden with plums), and a fig tree. Tauranga and Athenree are both on a 60 kilometer long lagoon/estuary, and beyond the coastal dune system there is a surprisingly warm sea.

We had a wonderful holiday. And now we're back at the grind. Sigh.

We spread our towels under this massive tree, a pohutakawa

Island off the coast at Waihi beach

Waihi Beach looking north

Athenree estuary near holiday cottage (little spikes in the mud are baby mangroves)

Athenree estuary looking inland towards mountain range

Athenree estuary at twilight

Near Athenree

By the way, just in case you were wondering -- I didn't take these pics!

Rim

2012-02-18T21:37:00.000-08:00

Stockman

2012-02-16T17:15:00.000-08:00

A stockman crossing the Murray river (which drains most of Eastern Australia), from this article in Melbourne's The Age newspaper.

Have you found Jesus?

2012-02-15T18:20:00.001-08:00

Nick Riewoldt (again)

2012-02-15T15:11:00.000-08:00

A beaut pic of Nick Riewoldt hugging a younger team member, Arryn Siposs. Nick Riewoldt is straight -- yet he manages to interact with his male team members and in fact members of opposing teams in a way which is kinda ... touching. And warm. And heart-warming.

I don't have much time for straights any more, but Nick Riewoldt's interactions with other men show he's not squeamish about the affection and love which can grow between men, nor is he afraid to show his tender side.

Nice.

Oh, and I don't think for one minute that Nick or Arryn and the other bloke (whoever he is) are gay or even mildly happy.

What's in a Marriage

2012-01-31T13:29:00.000-08:00

An interesting article by Alain de Botton for the BBC.

Marriage has changed dramatically over the centuries. The resolute defence of "traditional marriage" by the trogs is really just defending the status quo -- which is vastly different from the way things have been over several millennia.

None of the emotions that we expect to find inside a good modern marriage are unusual in themselves. We find them well described in art and literature across all cultures and eras. What makes modern marriage extraordinary in its ambitions is the expectation that these emotions should reliably be entertained over a lifetime with the very same person.

The Troubadours of 12th Century Provence had a complex appreciation of romantic love: the aching generated by the sight of a graceful figure, the sleeplessness at the prospect of a meeting, the power of a few words or glances to determine one's state of mind. But these courtiers expressed no wish to combine their prized emotions with parallel intentions to raise a family, or even so much as to sleep with those they ardently loved.

You can read the whole article here.

En vacences

2012-01-31T12:51:00.000-08:00

I'm taking some time off from writing and blogging while I try to come to grips with some things in my life. So there will be no episodes of Majorca Flats or any blog posts for the next few days.

Kiss

2012-01-26T17:11:00.000-08:00

Inspiration

2012-01-24T19:39:00.000-08:00

From my mate Rock. Nice one.

Depressed

2012-01-24T17:00:00.001-08:00

Majorca Flats -- 286

2012-01-24T11:32:00.000-08:00

Colin said, “End ofinterview,” and gave the time and switched off the camera. “Cody,thank you for coming forward. I know you would've preferred to keepthis quiet. Lots of rape victims don't want to talk about what'sbeen done to them. And that's understandable. But your courage willallow us to catch him, to stop this happening again.” He looked atCody waiting for a response. When none came, he said, “I'll fillout the report form and you can sign it. And I'll send you a copy ofthe video. Detectives will be in touch. If you would like to talkto me again, here's my number.” He passed across a piece of paperwith his name and a mobile number written on it. “Where can wecontact you?”

Cody mumbled something.

“Pardon?”

Cody shouted, “FUCK! FUCK!” Then more quietly added, “I'm not going to be marriedmuch longer, right? And I don't know where I'll be staying. Butjust in case, here's the number,” and he gave his home phone. He'dnever given that to Luigi, and Luigi felt a quick surge of anger whenhe remembered that.

Colin turned to look atLuigi.

“If he needs a place tostay, he can stay with me.” Luigi's voice was firm. The past wasthe past. For now Cody needed support. Later, they would decidewhat would happen. He gave his mobile number to the policeman.

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Episodes 1 to 220 (without pictures, 10 episodes per chapter)

Joel Selwood

2012-01-24T04:09:00.000-08:00

Joel Selwood, a footy player with the current top dogs, Geelong*. The usual boring, boring: nope, he's not gay. He can't help that -- some people are just born straight. But he's a beaut bloke, no?

*pronounced J'long with the emphasis on the 'long'.

Men cuddling

2012-01-23T11:34:00.000-08:00

We need love. Straight or gay (and these blokes are most likely straight).

Science is not a liberal conspiracy

2012-01-22T16:46:00.000-08:00

Majorca Flats -- 285

2012-01-22T14:44:00.000-08:00

Shaggin' wagon, by Holliex33

“So'm I, Coads. Hey,let's talk about this later.” Luigi looked deep into Cody's eyes. “And we'll get him. And he will pay.”

Looking at Luigi, no onedoubted that if he got his hands on the murderer, the man who'd hurthis lover, he would pay. His Sicilian ancestry was visible in hisface: strong, resolute, grim; and his eyes were black with anger andthe desire for vengeance.

“It is an offence totake justice into your own hands. The police will catch him and hewill be handed over for trial and he will pay the penalties for hiscrimes.” Colin's tone was cool and firm.

Luigi just looked at him. Colin said, “I know you're angry. And I know that you believe thepolice won't do their job. But we will. And we're the experts. Andthis is a case of murder. Multiple murder.”

Luigi nodded reluctantly.

Turning back to Cody,Colin asked, “Could you describe the van?”

“It was an old Combishaggin'-waggon. A bit rusted. Inside it was fitted out like acampervan, with a bench and cupboards and curtains. He put me in akind of chest which was underneath the seat.”

“Do you by any chanceremember the number?”

Cody shook his head. “Wait,” he said, “on the side was the name 'St Joseph's' or 'StMichael's', saint something, anyway, like it was a school van or anorphanage or maybe some Catholic parish van, something like that. Itwas worn, I dunno, twenty years old? Maybe older. There was rust inplaces.”

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Episodes 1 to 220 (without pictures, 10 episodes per chapter)

Kako Esteves

2012-01-22T11:15:00.001-08:00

Majorca Flats -- 284

2012-01-21T23:48:00.000-08:00

Colin put the camera onagain. “The police are here to fight crime. And you're not thecriminal here, Cody. You haven't broken any laws. And he has. He'salmost certainly killed four men already—that we know about. Andthat's a crime. Rape is a crime. Abduction and kidnapping is acrime. Cutting you is a crime.” He looked at Cody. “Cody … ifyou help us, we'll get him. We'll stop him doing it again. Andagain. And again. It took courage to come forward, Cody. Thepolice won't let you down.”

He waited for a responsefrom Cody, but there was silence.

He sighed. “We haven'tgot an artist here or the software to draw a picture of this man. Can you give us a description of him?”

“He was my height, hewas slim, with sort of rubbery folds on his face. You know how somepeople's wrinkles are very tiny and thin, and others look likebloodhounds. Well, he had folds on his chin but they were thick. His eyes ...” Cody paused and took another swallow of water, “ …they were grey maybe or blue—it was hard to tell because it wasdark and his pupils were dilated—and his eyebrows were very bushy. His hair was a mixture of grey and black ...”

“... Yeah,”interrupted Luigi, “salt-and-pepper.”

“You saw him?” askedColin, sharply.

“Yes,” said Luigiflatly. “I saw him taking Cody. I thought Cody was with …someone he'd picked up.” I turned to Cody. “I saw you comingout of the bar. With him. And help you get into his Combi van. Ishould have gone up then and non of this would have happened.”

Cody looked at Luigi andsighed. “I'm sorry, Lou. I'm so sorry.”

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Episodes 1 to 220 (without pictures, 10 episodes per chapter)

Bliss

2012-01-21T20:28:00.001-08:00

I loves ya

2012-01-21T14:40:00.000-08:00

Chris Hemsworth

2012-01-21T04:47:00.000-08:00

Ozzie actor and hunk. Here he's acting Thor.

So let's get this straight ...

2012-01-21T00:50:00.000-08:00

Footy -- Chapter 23

2012-01-20T23:31:00.000-08:00

To his surprise, he fell asleep, a drugged slumber that brought him no relief from his grief or his lassitude. Sean MacDonald had never been in love before. Losing Will was worse than the loss of a first love, though. With him, Sean had felt that he was part of the broad congregation of humanity. It hadn’t mattered that his mother’d been a druggie and his father a brutal alcoholic failure. It didn’t matter that he had an unimportant job that everyone looked down on. He’d been alive, and the light of love had cast the shadows away.

After he woke, he once again lay motionless on his bed. His eyes moved from one corner to the next, noting absently that there was a spider web here, and small damp stain there, that the center light threw displeasing shadows in the corners. Yet nothing registered. The flick of his eyes around the room, from one side to the other, had no purpose.

There seemed to be nothing that would ease the pain. A few months ago, before Jasper and Will, he might have watched Katy Submits, and smoked a few joints. He might have drunk the bottle of vodka that he kept in the cupboard underneath the hotplate and the kettle. But he knew for a certainty that none of these things would make it hurt any less. And he was not going to turn into either of his parents. Whatever happened, he would survive. Inside him, an insistent quiet voice spoke. No, it said. You’ve failed. You’re just like your hopeless loser parents. And you’re a homo. And where the fuck did that get you? Loser. Failure. Spaz.

You can read the rest of the chapter here.

Majorca Flats -- 283

2012-01-20T17:43:00.000-08:00

There was a minute ofcomplete silence.

“The first thing we doafter this is to call an ambulance,” said Colin, his mouth a grimline of distaste and anger, though it wasn't clear who he was angrywith. “And you're going to need a police guard. You saw his face. You know too much about him.”

“You can't guard meforever.” Cody's voice was very quiet.

“But we can catch thebastard. And we will. Believe me, Cody, we will nail him.”

“Police don't careabout us. About gay or bi blokes.” Cody shrugged fatalistically. “You couldn't give a flying rat's clacker for us.”

Colin looked at him. “Icare,” he said. He reached up and turned off the video camera. Hewaited until they were all looking at him. “That's why I recordedthis. Normally a complaint made to the police isn't recorded. But I wanted to make sure a record is made.”

Luigi was suspicious. How had he known that this was about the Mount Macedon murderer?

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Episodes 1 to 220 (without pictures, 10 episodes per chapter)

Borders

2012-01-19T19:28:00.000-08:00

This is a café on the border between Belgium and The Netherlands. The white crosses mark the border.

Steve Jobs

2012-01-19T19:24:00.001-08:00

Sexy Waiter

2012-01-19T16:40:00.000-08:00

Cute as. Yum.

From Queerty

But I expect he's straight.

Majorca Flats -- 282

2012-01-19T16:30:00.000-08:00

“My hands were tiedtogether, and my feet. Then he came in. He didn't put on the light. He just—oh, God! —he just …” Cody stopped and swallowed. “He tied my legs back to the bed-head and he … fuck … he fuckedme.” He stopped unable to continue. The silence in the room wasbroken only by soft voices from the house behind and by thetemple-bell calls of magpies outside.

Cody swallowed the water. He looked at Colin, all at once angry. “I suppose you think thatwe like that sort of thing! That we enjoy being raped!”

Colin shook his head. “No. No one likes to be raped.” His face was wary.

Cody looked down at thetable top. There was a tense silence. At last he said, “He didn'tuse lube. He just … Then after that, every time he did it, ithurt. And he would shout and mutter things at me. 'You're a foulpervert!' 'This is your punishment from God', stuff like that. Onlyhe was getting off on it. He was hard, rigid with excitement. Oh,fucking Jesus, I don't think I'll ever be able to have sex again.” He stopped again. “When I close my eyes,” he said at last, “Isee his face. His eyes. Staring at me. Filled with hate. And hemade me look at him. He cut me every time he fucked me.” Codypulled off his T-shirt and turned so that they could see the cuts onhis body. “And when I closed my eyes and refused to look at him …he … cut a chunk ... out of me.” Cody jerkily pulled down theboardies Michael had lent him and showed them his buttocks, almost asif he were proud of it, as if he wanted to rub their face in thereality. The square inch hole in his flesh was scabbed but hadstarted to bleed again.

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Episodes 1 to 220 (without pictures, 10 episodes per chapter)

Love

2012-01-19T12:48:00.000-08:00

Look at the look oh his face! Love. It makes the world survivable.

Sublime

2012-01-17T19:34:00.001-08:00

Greek god

2012-01-16T15:06:00.000-08:00

It was the curly hair which made me think of it.

Majorca Flats -- 281

2012-01-15T17:07:00.000-08:00

“I was at a bar onBrunswick street. It's not a gay bar.” He said this withoutexpression, his voice dead, his eyes down. “The Labour in Vain. I was having a beer when this man sat down next to me. Hestarted to chat me up. He seemed very nice. He was good looking. Iwent on chatting. I was … lonely.” Here he turned his head andlooked at Luigi. His eyes were filled with profound pain.

Luigi's own face wasdrawn. “Go on, love. Keep going. We can do this.”

Colin looked at him butdidn't intervene. Once again Luigi felt the oddness of the interview. But he reminded himself that Cody wasn't a suspect. He was thevictim. And this was just a preliminary interview. He was certainthe detectives when they interviewed Cody would be much more hostile.

“He offered to buy me abeer. I accepted … but then … I felt dizzy. He said, 'Betterget you home, you've had enough,' or something like that. He seemedso nice, so caring. And I wasn't thinking, it was like I wasdrugged. He took me out to a combi van. And when I woke up I was ina room without windows. Maybe at the back of a garage, somethinglike that. It was completely dark. There was a window but it wasboarded up on the inside.” He stopped. “Could I have somewater, please?”

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Episodes 1 to 220 (without pictures, 10 episodes per chapter)

Railing kiss

2012-01-14T14:52:00.000-08:00

Christian Oppression

2012-01-11T16:35:00.000-08:00

From Joe my God via Truth Wins Out.

Majorca Flats -- 280

2012-01-11T16:15:00.000-08:00

The police constable setup the video camera on a tripod. “It's my hobby,” he explained.

“Colin takes all theteam photos and videos,” added Michael.

It all seemed ratherintimate and personal to Luigi. He had imagined some anonymouswindowless room, like they showed on TV, with hostile sneeringpolicemen. This homely police station with its single low-rankingpoliceman and its worn furniture and desk hardly gave the impressionof cutting-edge detection.

Colin smiled at Cody. “Let's begin.” He turned on the video camera, tested the viewand the sound and set it to record.

“Senior constable Colinde Graves at Macedon Police station, Thursday ____________. Please,Cody, could you give me your full name and address.”

Luigi looked Colin insurprise. This was a grand name. The de Graves family was veryprominent in the state. Why was a young de Graves a mere constablein a small country town when he could be someone and somethingimportant and glamorous in the city? A lawyer? A politician intraining?

In a monotone, Codyanswered, not looking at either the camera or Colin.

“Can you tell me whathappened?” His voice was calm and kind and without judgement.

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Episodes 1 to 220 (without pictures, 10 episodes per chapter)

Black & Deep Desires, chapter 13

2012-01-10T19:27:00.000-08:00

“And did she keep on putting Rex in there?” Glenda wanted to drum her fingers on the table in her impatience.

“Oh, yes. But the funny thing about Alice Guilfoyle was how she wasn’t satisfied with anything for long. After a while, the maze wasn’t enough. That was when she started to put the blindfold on him.”

Glenda shivered with morbid anticipation. “Blindfold?”

“A silk scarf. A black silk scarf, it was. Said to belong to her husband. I think it was partly that, the fact that it belonged to his dead father, that got to Rex. She did it to keep her power over him, that’s how I see it. It was hard to know why she did the things she did. But I think as long as she knew the maze and he didn’t, she had control. I can see her now ...” He screwed up his eyes; “I can see her taking him across the lawns. It was her shape that I remember. Like a beast, with those massive shoulders. Like a bear’s shoulders. Sort of hulking. Her head was sunk right down into her body.” His lips drew back from his teeth. “And this little kid trotting along beside her. He didn’t have a choice - she’d hold so hard to his hand and practically drag him. And she moved fast. She could move allright. Not like you or me. She sort of swivelled herself along. Hard to describe. I remember one day the wind blew her skirts up and I saw these great bags of fat hanging over her knees, white as lard, the veins like blue roots in the fat. And him trotting to keep up, half running. I used to see a lot of what went on because I’d follow to find out what she was going to do with him. I was afraid. I remember being afraid for him; I thought if I was there, close by, I could save him. I think I had it in my head that - I don’t know - that one day she’d kill him.

When she came out of the maze alone, she was like a creature that’s eaten something. Horrible. I tell you, girl, that woman had evil in her.”

You can read more of my lady's thriller here.

Fabrissou

2012-01-10T17:44:00.000-08:00

I discovered this great gay artist, Fabrissou. He's French and his cartoons are very much in the French style. He draws sexy blokes. You'll like this one.

Majorca Flats -- 279

2012-01-10T11:38:00.000-08:00

“Hey, Col!” Michaelsmiled at the man who opened the door. He was in uniform but withouthis cap.

“Mikie babe!” Colinshook his hand vigorously then turned to Luigi and Cody.

“Ah, Colin, this isLuigi. This is Cody.”

“G'day! Come inside.”

They went in to thebuilding. The police station was a single room in the front of thebuilding, with a desk and police public service notices on the walls. There was a table with four shabby chairs round it. Through theopen door leading to the back of the house came a toddler's wail.

“Sorry about that,”said Colin. “It's my daughter and she's sick as. And feeling verysorry for herself.”

Luigi nodded. Cody juststared at the table.

“Right, let's begin. Is it OK if I record this? I'll take notes but the recording helpsjog my memory. And anyway, the detective branch will want a record. I'm going to use my personal video camera because, well, we're such asmall police station, we don't have an official one.”

When Cody didn't answer,Luigi put his hand on Cody's arm, and said quietly, “Come on, love,we'll get through this.” He was determined not to let the factthat he was in a police station stop him showing his love. Andanyway, Cody needed him to be there for him.

Cody nodded. “OK,”he muttered.

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Episodes 1 to 220 (without pictures, 10 episodes per chapter)

Majorca Flats -- 278

2012-01-08T15:23:00.000-08:00

“If you follow me inyour car, I'll show you the way,” said Michael.

“All right,” saidLuigi.

They drove in convoy downthe mountain to the rolling hills at the base. They turned up a sidestreet lined with pin oaks and came in a few moments to a 1930swooden house with the blue police notice outside.

As the car pulled over tothe edge of the road outside the police station, Cody said, “Ican't do this, Lou. I can't expose myself to the police, to themedia. I can't.”

“Coads, you arealready on the police books. Your wife has already reported youmissing. And you are at risk from this bloke until he is caught.”

Cody stared away out ofthe window, obviously finding the tree in its autumn dress in frontof the police station compellingly fascinating. He swallowed and themuscles in his jaw moved but he said nothing.

“You said you'd gotyour life back. And you were grateful. You have to face up to thisCoads. To put it behind you. You have a whole life ahead of you. It seems that nothing will ever be right again. But it will, love. This is the low point. From now on it'll gradually get better.”

“Promise?” Codyturned to look at Luigi. His eyes were dark with despair.

Luigi locked eyes withCody but couldn't bring himself to speak or even nod.

After a moment Codyopened the passenger door and got out. Without a word, his headbent, he went up to Michael who was waiting at the gate in the hedgein front of the police station.

Heart dark withforeboding and sorrow, Luigi climbed out of the car and joined them.

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Episodes 1 to 220 (without pictures, 10 episodes per chapter)

Footy, chapter 22

2012-01-08T12:16:00.000-08:00

I've uploaded it to my website.

But Will picked it up. “You didn’t get on?”

“You could say that. He used to beat us with his fists when he was drunk or drugged up. I was covered with bruises all my childhood. They took me to a home a couple of times, after one of his beatin’s.” The bare recital of the facts didn’t do the reality justice.

Sean didn’t want to meet Will’s eyes, afraid of what he might see there. So he forced himself to look up. Instead of contempt he saw compassion and love. His heart filled with gratitude and tenderness. “My mother was a druggie,” he said. “She died of an overdose. I found her body. I was fourteen.” This time, he was quite unable to bring himself to look at Will. He stared out through the plate glass windows at the dark sea. He felt Will’s hand cover his.

“Shit, I’m sorry, Seanie.” Will had never called him that to his face before.

Reluctantly, Sean met Will’s eyes. Will’s face was filled with pity and sorrow and love. All at once, Sean knew that the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with was right here in front of him. He’d always had a vague plan to get married, one day, and have a family. But the dreams were fuzzy, the spaces between the outlines unfilled. And memories of his own parents’ marriage kept on intruding. It was true – they did seem to have had a lot of sex. And perhaps, once, they had loved each other. But when he had gotten a more adult awareness of sexual love, he had looked in vain for some sort of affection between them. He hadn’t realised what a hole that had left in him till now.

He had kept on hoping his family would become ordinary – his parents going off to work each day, and coming home and having supper, and going on outings and camping trips. His ideas of what constituted a happy marriage were constructed out of the thin rubbish purveyed by TV, by the shiny women’s magazines his mother would buy when she got the welfare cheque before she shot up, she as mesmerized by the glossy falsehoods as he had been.

He had never truly believed he would find someone he wanted to marry. He smiled at himself—as usual, Sean MacDonald was being different. He wondered how his brothers would take it. And then, with a pang, he wondered whether Will wanted him that way.

On their route back to the motel, Will wanted to hold Sean’s hand, to sling his arm round his shoulders, but he resisted the impulse. He contented himself with putting his hand on Sean’s shoulder as they went into their room.

“Bed,” he said.

“Old man!” said Sean, grinning.

“Who said anything about sleep?” countered Will, his eyes warm toffee.

You can read the chapter here.

Blake Riley

2012-01-08T11:38:00.001-08:00

Physique magazines

2012-01-07T15:13:00.000-08:00

For a while, almost the only "gay" magazines published were physique magazines.

Here's a short history of the genre.

I thought this quote revealing:

Since in our society male-male contact is only justified under the cover of violence, models were often shown wrestling, which led to a whole new subgenre.

Not much change even today, really.

Saturday Night Thoughts

2012-01-07T03:38:00.000-08:00

It's late at night here. Late-ish, anyway. And I've just watched a Hercule Poirot and imbibed several glasses of champagne which has left me a little, well maudlin is the best word.

Alcohol hasn't always affected me like that. Once it made me happy, and sometimes, when I forget, it still does. But there are so many wounds, so many scars. It becomes harder to be joyful.

One mustn't grumble and complain, since it's unseemly, as well as offensive (I have so much: a roof over my head, food and drink in my belly, a wife who loves me, children, and enough money to buy books and records). Yet once it was easier to bounce back from the stumbling blocks life throws up. Now I know that the world is far from perfect and in fact never will be perfect. I used to believe it could be made better, that things could be improved. Now I don't. I miss those whom I loved who have died or gone away. I miss my youth, my good health, my joie de vivre.

All this makes hope harder to hold on to. And without hope, what point is there?

Primal

2012-01-06T23:09:00.001-08:00

All by myself

2012-01-05T23:52:00.000-08:00

This very handsome bloke is Nick Sterling. Nice.

Majorca Flats -- 277

2012-01-05T12:17:00.000-08:00

“Cody, this is my dad,Charles. Dad, Cody.” Michael's dad was a handsome man in his latefifties, with a mane of blond hair and an air of authority and power.

“How d'ye do?” hesaid, reaching out his right hand.

“Pleased to meet you,Mr. ...” answered Cody, shaking hands.

“Mason. But pleasecall me Charles. As I said to Michael on the way down, I don't thinkthere will be any problem with this first interview with the police. Later on there may well be. The police have a serious problem withhomophobia and racism in their ranks. It's not as bad as it was. But it's still there. So I'll call the office at 8.30 and getsomebody allocated to your case. He or she will sit in on all yourinterviews. I'd do it myself, but my speciality these days iscommercial law, and anyway, I'm in court most of this week.”

“Thank you.” Codyknew what he had to say but he was too shocked and depressed to putany enthusiasm into his conversation.

“Dad, this is Luigi.Luigi, my dad, Charles Mason.”

“G'day, Mr Mason.”

Charles Mason shookLuigi's hand. His gaze was sharp. Luigi felt he would be aformidable questioner in court. But there was also goodwill andkindness in his face, and Luigi was able to thank him for his helpwith a sincerity and gratitude that Cody hadn't been able to.

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Episodes 1 to 220 (without pictures, 10 episodes per chapter)

Summer night. A Haiku

2012-01-05T03:30:00.000-08:00

I sit late at night
drinking, thinking of him who
has abandoned me

Image from Wolf and Wilde

Doing the splits

2012-01-05T01:13:00.000-08:00

Roberto Bollé -- a ballet dancer. Look at the flexibility. Look at the musculature. Ballet dancers don't look overmuscled, but they are very strong, a wiry sustained strength, not the kind body builders have.

He's also handsome as.

It's been nearly 20 years since I last danced, but I remember how good it feels to do a class and feel the exhaustion and exhilaration afterwards, when your body and your mind are cleaned of stress and feel loose and relaxed.

Transformers

2012-01-04T13:35:00.000-08:00

The helmets make them look like transformers (you know -- those robots who can transform into machines) and they mean we can't see what they look like. On the other hand, their "girdles" (as I'm told they're called) are extraordinarily sexy, especially if they're white and see-through, with their jockstraps underneath.

Sadly, I don't know who these blokes are or which teams are playing. But they are beaut as.

And once again, precisely because football or soccer or footy players are ueber-men, they are permitted to hug and kiss each other.

Philip Fusco

2012-01-04T01:07:00.000-08:00

Holy Goddess! Send him hither, I beg thee.

You can see more images of Philip Fusco, here.

Four Friends

2012-01-03T00:19:00.000-08:00

The supposed acme of straight male bonding -- the circle jerk. Except this one is in a straight line.

Majorca Flats -- 276

2012-01-02T12:33:00.001-08:00

“Hello” The tone wastentative. An early-morning phone call was seldom good news.

“Phillippa, it's me.” Cody's voice trembled.

“Oh God! Whathappened? Where've you been? I've been out of my mind with worry. Iwent to the police!”

“I was,” Cody stoppedand swallowed, “taken by the Mount Macedon murderer. He held mecaptive. I escaped this morning.”

“How? But whathappened, Co? Where did he hold you? Why? How did you escape?”

“Phil, slow down. Iwas ...” and then he started to cry. He was unable to continue.

Luigi took the phone fromhim. “Hey, I'm Luigi. Remember, we met a while ago.”

“Yes, I remember. Wewere taking Tyler for a walk.”

“Yes. I'm Cody'sfriend. I'm bringing him home as soon as we've spoken to the police. He's in a terrible state.”

“Where are you?”asked Phillippa.

“In Mt Macedon. We'rejust going to the police now. And a doctor, too.”

“What happened! Did hehurt Cody?”

“Yes. Cody willexplain as soon as he gets home.” As he said this, Michael came inthrough the cottage's back door, with an older man, clearly hisfather. “We have to go now. Phillippa, don't call Cody's mobile. The killer's got it. Call this number.”

Phillippa was too upsetto think clearly. “What is the number?” she asked, not thinkingthat it would show up in her mobile's call log.

Patiently, Luigi gave itto her. Only then did she start to weep.

After he closed hisphone, he sat for a minute grieving for the impending collapse inCody's marriage, and for all the unhappiness and sorrow which wasbeing unleashed.

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Episodes 1 to 220 (without pictures, 10 episodes per chapter)

Barely there

2012-01-02T11:56:00.000-08:00

Barely there. Beaut.

Sex toys

2012-01-01T15:56:00.000-08:00

Sex should be fun as well as (sometimes) transcending and magical. These guys' cocks are toys to give them pleasure. But note the one guy's hand resting on the other's, in intimate trust and friendship.

Footy, Chapter 21

2012-01-01T00:43:00.000-08:00

I won’t go to a bar again. Will made this promise to himself every few months. The most recent occasion had been just six weeks before, after his previous visit to the The Peel. Every time he picked up a bloke, he would feel guilty the next day. He knew his inability to keep away showed how weak he was, what a pathetic failure. No matter how much he enjoyed the sex, he had no easy way to deal with the toxic mix of guilt and desire he experienced.

Yet when he had caught sight of Sean, he had immediately forgotten his doubts. He had guessed from the stiff way Sean was standing that he had never been in a gay pub before. The mixture of toughness and vulnerability in Sean’s face intrigued him. The draw wasn’t just physical, though there was no denying that Sean was handsome, slim and muscular.

Will had a weakness for rough trade. Perhaps it was because he felt that what he did was unworthy, that he wasn't a real man. Real men didn't have sex with other men. Real men were heterosexual. But if you weren't a real man, you could compensate by being tough, by showing a macho front to the world. He never felt that he himself did it convincingly. It always felt to him that he was playing a game, that it was some kind of façade, that he was a fake and a fraud, and that everybody knew it or would discover it one day.

He knew that others probably played these rôles too. But with them, the illusion seemed more convincing. Sean looked like a real man. Tough. Manly. Together. Self-sufficient. To Will it seemed that if he could persuade such a paragon to love him, he would enjoy a vicarious sense of manliness, of validation and self-worth. When a masculine man was screwing him, Will could pretend that he was loved, and that his partner’s masculinity validated his own. Taking a dick deep inside him made him feel manlier, more real. He was far too intelligent not to see the irony in this—but it made no difference to how he behaved. It merely made him despise himself the more thoroughly.

He had almost given up with Sean right after he’d started talking to him. Sean had seemed distant and hostile. Even though this was part of the fantasy, part of what turned him on, Sean had seemed so antagonistic that Will had wondered why the other man was even in a gay pub. For a moment, a cold wash of fear had made his hair stand on end. Was Sean the kind of man who would let himself be picked up only to beat you up later? But when Will had looked into Sean’s eyes, he had seen a need and a vulnerability mirroring his own, and his fears had faded. He had sensed at once Sean's attraction to him, an attraction he seemed to feel despite himself. Sean’s latent aggression became a thrilling spice enhancing their rapport. The sexual thirst and restrained belligerence in Sean made him overwhelmingly desirable.

The surprise came only later, after Sean had fucked him and had gotten up to leave, wordlessly, his face sullen. Bitter at yet another heartless encounter, angry at Sean and sickened by his own needs, Will had rebuked him, and had been startled and touched by Sean's response.

Read the rest of the chapter here.

Majorca Flats -- 275

2012-01-01T00:21:00.000-08:00

The Watcher staredthrough the binoculars at this group. The escape of his latestvictim had left him unsatisfied and angry. This was the first timeone of his chosen had ever escaped. And now The Lord was angry withhim because he had failed. That morning when he had prayed, he hadfelt His eyes on him, cold with anger. Failure, he'd heardwhispered behind him as he knelt in front of His candles and Hisimage. Useless vessel. Worthless.

So why was he looking atthe twink and the old lady and her new friends? The twink wasn'teven gay. The Lord didn't want him to waste time on straights, evenif they had sex before marriage and were filthy fornicators. No. The Lord wanted him to rid the world of the evil of homosexuality. Staring at straight young men would not help that cause. He must nottake the first easy steps down the path to sin and perdition.

But his tension remainedunassuaged. God let him have sex with his victims as a reward forridding the world of homosexual evil. He knew that. God had toldhim. And when he killed he would always cum, more copiously and moreprofoundly than he ever otherwise did. This was God's reward for hisarduous task. This time, though, he'd been baulked of his reward.

He watched Jason andKeith, and imagined them under him as he thrust into them. Careful!he warned himself. You are forced to consort with filth but youmust take care you do it with a long stick, or you will be defiledyourself. He remembered FatherMcAlister's beatings, his lectures and rebukes while he'd been madeto stand for hours in his underwear on the icy flagstones of themanse. He had Father McAlister to thank that he'd turned away fromsin. He wondered for a second or two whether the voice in his headwas Jesus's or Father McAlister's. The Irish burr in it …. buthe rejected that suggestion. Satan was ever ready to turn him fromThe Lord's path, to seduce him down into the furnace.

Hewould start again tonight, selecting a new victim. God's work wasnever done.

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Episodes 1 to 220 (without pictures, 10 episodes per chapter)

Frats

2011-12-31T12:00:00.000-08:00

A classic of Nifty stories: fraternity men doing various initiation rites including having sex with each other. I hae me doots. But it makes for ... thought-provoking ... images.

Speedo mates

2011-12-30T17:26:00.001-08:00

Intense pleasure --- and pain

2011-12-30T04:49:00.000-08:00

It shouldn't hurt if he sizzles you up and preps you properly. In fact it should feel wonderful. But sometimes he's big. And doesn't get you ready ....

Majorca Flats -- 274

2011-12-29T21:54:00.000-08:00

Jason and Keith joinedLucasta and Eleanor on the back veranda for tea. They were alreadytalking nineteen-to-the-dozen as they sipped their tea.

When Jason and EleanorCumberledge had tea, she invariably used the bone china cups, and acheap but well-loved china teapot. For his grandmother, Eleanor wasstill using the usual Wedgwood, but she had unearthed an exquisitelybeautiful blue and white Spode teapot. Reassuringly, she had alsobrought out the worn Arnott's biscuit tin, and he felt a suddenprickle of tears as he realised how much Eleanor had come to mean tohim. The familiar rituals of their almost daily tea times had madehim feel at home, accepted, cared for, in a way he'd never felt withhis parents. It felt odd and rather wonderful to have these two oldladies together.

“Keith and I have putyour bags in your room, gran.”

“Thank you dear.”

“Keith, would you likesome tea?” asked Eleanor. “And biscuits? There're some in thetin.”

She poured tea for Keithand passed him the milk jug and the biscuit tin.

“Jason, your usual?”

“Thank you, Eleanor,yes.”

“These biscuits aredelicious, Mrs Cumberledge!” Keith was telling the truth.

“Thank you! I madethem myself, from an old recipe.”

“Quite delicious, mydear. Perhaps you can give me the recipe before I leave shop-boughtbiscuits aren't a patch on the home-made kind.”

“W-e-l-l,” saidKeith, “when I tried it once they came out of the oven blackenedand hard as cement!”

Lucasta Ellesmerelaughed. “My first biscuits were too,” she said. “Inedible!”

“You need lessons,”said Eleanor. “You must come round again sometime soon and I canshow you how.”

“That'd be wonderful! I'd love that.” Keith meant it. He missed not having his parentsin his life. Kindness from someone who could be his mother orgrandmother made him feel that not having parents was endurable. Ina way, Tom filled the rôle offather, but he had no one to take the place of his mother or his nan. He hadn't seen or spoken to his family since his father had thrownhim out of home. He always said that they could all get fucked. Buthe missed those connections all the same.

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Episodes 1 to 220 (without pictures, 10 episodes per chapter)

Cozzie hunk

2011-12-29T14:29:00.000-08:00

Still the best form of swimwear in my opinion.

But then I'm a perve, as y'all know.

A good feeling

2011-12-29T00:57:00.000-08:00

Majorca Flats -- 273

2011-12-28T18:30:00.000-08:00

Keith arrived and Jasonintroduced him to Eleanor Cumberledge. The two young men carried thecases up to the room.

“So this is ya room?”asked Keith, standing at the door of Jason's room. “Oi loik it.”

“Yeah. I like yourflat, though. You're lucky. It's really nice.”

“Yeah. You could livewith me there if you want.” Keith didn't know where this suddenproposal came from, and as soon as he'd said it, he wished he hadn't.

Jason stepped close tohim and put one hand on Keith's junk and the other behind Keith'shead. Looking directly into Keith's eyes, he said, “Man, I halflive there already. But … working together and spending all ouroff time together … would it work out? I don't want to lose you,Key, love. Not after Brent. And I … well … I think I'm half inlove with you and Lou and I don't want to spoil it.” He kissedKeith, softly at first and then deeply, his hand squeezing Keith'sdoings. Then he leant his head against Keith's shoulder. His breathtickled Keith's neck. They stood like this for a long time, notmoving, their whole bodies pressed against each other. They couldboth feel the other's erection.

Even though Keith'sinvitation had been turned down, his heart beat with happiness. Hishard-on was easy to ignore when his heart was so full. All the same,after several minutes he said with a lewd grin, “Maybe we could goback there later and, you know, get to know each other better.”

Jason slapped Keith'sbum. “Yeah, I could feel you were getting excited, you perve.”

They went and joined thetwo old ladies.

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Episodes 1 to 220 (without pictures, 10 episodes per chapter)

Love -- it's magic

2011-12-28T03:54:00.000-08:00

Physical, sexual, emotional ... they're all wonderful.

Majorca Flats -- 272

2011-12-27T19:52:00.000-08:00

“Delighted, my dear,I'm sure,” exclaimed Lucasta, immediately taking a liking to theother woman. “So nice to meet you at last Jason has said so muchabout you I simply had to come and see Australia you know. Wonderful.” She waved her hand vaguely behind her at the street.

“You must be worn afrazzle, Mrs Ellesmere, just exhausted. It's such a long flight andit just goes on and on, and travel is so very tiring. Come in, comein, and welcome! Jason, if you could grab Bolt before he trips yourgrandmother up!”

“Oh I have a dog too,such a character a Pekingese or at least the mother but the fatherwas a travelling man as they say though should we call it now aBeijingese really sometimes all this not offending people goes toofar don't you think?” She bent down and patted Bolt and rubbed himbehind his ears. Bolt rolled over to be stroked on his tummy.

“We can have tea on theveranda,” said Eleanor. “I expect you need a cup or two. Jason,your gran's room is the one next to yours.”

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Episodes 1 to 220 (without pictures, 10 episodes per chapter)

Love on a green sheet

2011-12-27T14:39:00.000-08:00

Even if they are just porn actors, there's tenderness and mutual concern between them. At least, I see that.

So, we've come to the end of ....

2011-12-27T04:51:00.000-08:00

... The Eagle or in its original Danish Ørnen

It's kept us entertained over many evenings. So good. Enthralling, convincing, sad, happy ... wonderful. That such a small country can produce such superb film! It puts Hollywood comprehensively to shame.

The lead is a bloke called Jens Albinus, a craggy, skinny utterly sexy and desirable man.

Here's a pic.

Sigh.

Blue Aussiebum Cozzie

2011-12-27T03:22:00.000-08:00

I'll do another episode of Majorca Flats tomorrow. Meanwhile, I share with you this image of the Aussiebum model (don't know his name) in a blue nylon Aussiebum cozzie.

Isn't he the cat's pyjamas?

Happy Christmas

2011-12-24T15:06:00.000-08:00

The Santa Speedo run is now a tradition. Red (of course!) and swimbriefs (not boardies).

Happy Christmas to all of you, from this atheist to all youse.

[Image from AussieGayGuy]

More David Owe

2011-12-23T22:57:00.000-08:00

I've talked about this beaut bloke before, here. Just thought you'd enjoy another look at him.

Majorca Flats -- 271

2011-12-23T18:02:00.000-08:00

They were there. MajorcaFlats was written in embossed plaster moulding above the centraldoor in a line of five terraced houses. Above the moulding was asmall gable, much less ornate that was common for that period, thelate 1880s, she guessed, though of course that was the time of artnouveau wasn't it all elegant smooth curves and art àla Japonaise and she expected that the speculator who built theterrace had been to Europe and seen the world and probably shockedhis neighbours with the new simple lines but really it was ratherlovely especially on a warm golden early-autumn day.

The door was open andstanding there leaning on a stick was an elderly lady with iron-greyhair up in a bun and an adorable little fox terrier rushing backwardsand forwards from her feet to the gate yipping with excitement.

Jason opened the gate andgrabbed the dog. “He's called Bolt, gran, because that's what hedoes if the gate's open! You go through, and Keith and I'll bringthe cases. Eleanor, this is my gran Lucasta Ellesmere, gran this isEleanor Cumberledge.”

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Episodes 1 to 220 (without pictures, 10 episodes per chapter)

Majorca Flats -- 270

2011-12-23T01:39:00.000-08:00

“Mrs Ellesmere, we'renearly there. Jace, I'll stop the car just outside the house and youcan get out and help your nan to the door while I find parking.”

Lucasta Ellesmere woke upwith a start. The car was turning into a street lined with 19^thcentury terrace houses, fronted with plane trees, their leaves juststarting to turn for autumn. The names on the terraces showed theEnglish or at least British origin of their builders and owners. “Surry Court” presumably after the collector earl who spelled hisname like that such a bore always being beheaded and attainted thoughthey eventually got their title back didn't they not that it helpedthose who'd been beheaded poor things what if the blade wasn't sharpenough or the axeman inept? “Devon Place” such a charming countyand so much milder climate that the north though she was quitepartial to a good winter storm provided the fires were kept up shedidn't think she could live in Malaysia with that continuous heatthough Lucy seemed happy enough but then you can get used topractically anything.

And then, giving her astart, “Ellesmere Terrace” with three houses in the terrace, eachnamed after a woman, “Emily”, “Betty” and “Mildred” shesupposed the builder's or the owner's daughters how charming he musthave adored them but that name “Ellesmere” almost as if it weremeant though perhaps he was from the Lake District so beautiful shemust take Parker there when she got back to England. But thesignificance of the name bounced around her head and made her feeloddly happy. It was right that Jason might find himself here, inthis street, in this outflung post of Empire.

[Author's note and apology. Alert readers will at once detect that Lucasta Wellbury has morphed into Lucasta Ellesmere. The pressing reason was that Wellbury, the surname Jason is using, is his mother's maiden name. But Lucasta is his paternal grandmother. So that can't be her name. The other reason is one I prefer to keep quiet about for now.]

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Episodes 1 to 220 (without pictures, 10 episodes per chapter)

A comment on gay marriage

2011-12-22T12:52:00.000-08:00

John Birmingham, a (straight) journalist in Oz, runs a funny column with even funnier comments from readers. From a piece about Ozzie Senator Penny Wong's gay relationship, we have this gem of a comment by 'Greg':

You are aware of course that all homosexuals are just advance agents for the darkmoon alliance. From their vast, penile shaped spacecraft they continue a remorseless assault on the only thing that can stop them, the bastion of marriage. Once that weakens, their elite arseless chapped rainbowtroopers will pour out and force the nations of the earth to make stylish interior design choices. Truly, I have seen the future and it is a tasteful hell...

Majorca Flats -- 269

2011-12-21T15:33:00.000-08:00

“My life is finished,isn't it?” Cody didn't look at Luigi as he said this. Luigididn't know how to answer. How would Cody explain this to hiswife? He squeezed Cody's hand but remained silent.

“After I'd escaped …after Michael found me … I was glad that I'd got my life back. Itwas as if I'd been given a whole new life, you know. I thought Iwas going to die. And I didn't. But … my life has ended, really,hasn't it? My marriage … Phillippa won't forgive me. So it'll bedivorce. And I'll never get to see my kids. They don't, you know.”

“Don't what?”murmured Luigi, still stroking his hand.

“Give custody to gayfathers.”

Luigi thought that alltoo likely, so he said nothing.

“I'll have to paysupport. And I'll lose my job.”

“They can't sack youfor being gay! It's illegal!”

“Don't be stupid, Lou. Of course they won't sack me for being gay … they'll find anotherreason. They don't even have to give a reason. And when I go formy new job … I won't be able to give them as a reference, becauseif I do, they'll phone up and they'll be told. About the homo whogot carved up by the Mount Macedon Murderer. And that'll be that. And if I leave that part of my resuméblank they'll ask what I was doing then. In jail? On the dole? I'mstuffed, Lou. Finished. Royally fucked.”

A thought suddenly struckLuigi. “Christ! How long were you captive, do you think?”

“Fuck knows. It seemedforever. A few days? What's today?”

“Wednesday.”

“He took me last week. Wednesday?”

“Yes. I saw you.”

Cody looked at him inwonder. “I remember. You smiled at me. Oh, Lou.” And he beganto weep again.

“Coads … Cody love …we have to tell your wife. You've been gone a week. She must be outof her mind with worry.” He handed his phone to Cody and steppedout of hearing.

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Episodes 1 to 220 (without pictures, 10 episodes per chapter)

Hypocrisy

2011-12-20T16:15:00.000-08:00

Newt Gingrich in favour of traditional marriage? The kind where you keep on doing it?

Wall-to-wall hypocrites.

[From this blog]

Beck's kiss

2011-12-20T11:46:00.000-08:00

David Beckham and teammate. Sportsmen are allowed to kiss.

Dyspeptic

2011-12-20T00:08:00.000-08:00

Literally. I have Niagara Falls gastro. Yuck. Dispiriting. Tiring.

But also metaphorically.

I've so gone off straight blokes. I'm sick of the way they judge gay guys -- and they can't even help themselves, it's so ingrained. The little homophobic curl of the lips, the way they think that you're after their bod, the way they think their version of maleness is obviously and without question better than yours. The hidden assumptions, the judgements. Of course things are better now than they were. We don't get jailed or hanged for being gay (at least outside Muslim countries and the Christian-Fascist barbarian nations of Africa) But they're far from right. I was reading in Dorothy Sayers' "Whose Body?" where she quite calmly calls Jews "sheenies". Jews might have had equal rights in England in the 20s and 30s but they were still thoroughly despised. We gays are at that stage now.

Meanwhile, we gays remain outsiders. Looked down on at best, hated and feared at worst. It makes me so angry.

Shallow

2011-12-18T15:53:00.000-08:00

I sent a recent photo of me to an e-friend. After years of being my "friend", he's abruptly stopped talking to me. I suppose I'm too old and ugly. How shallow that is! To judge someone by their looks, not by their heart.

It makes me sad though.

Nice to know that gay shaded men can be just as shallow as straights. Now I know how women feel with sexist straight men. If they're pretty, they get listened too and courted. If plain, they get ignored.

Majorca Flats -- 268

2011-12-18T11:28:00.000-08:00

“I can't afford alawyer,” groaned Cody in despair.

“But I can!”said Luigi. “I'll pay,” he said to Michael.

“My dad or anyway hisfirm might do it pro bono.” When he saw Luigi's incomprehension,he added, “for free!”

He paused then said,“I'll just go'nd get him.”

“Where is he?”inquired Luigi puzzled.

“Up at the main house.” Seeing that Luigi was still puzzled, he continued, “This cottageis the old gate house. My folks live up in the”—he hesitated fora second or two, and Luigi intuited that he was looking for the rightword before he settled on—“house a bit higher up the mountain.” He looked at both the others. “Will you be OK? I won't be long.”

“Yeah. And … thankyou.”

“No worries, mate. It's my pleasure.”

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Episodes 1 to 220 (without pictures, 10 episodes per chapter)

Chemistry

2011-12-15T12:44:00.001-08:00

I was talking to a gay-shaded friend who was complaining about the lack of someone special in his life, but who has a lot of close male friends. I asked him why he didn't have a relationship with one of them. He said there was no "chemistry". But ... the chemistry, that mad wonderful hysteria of "in love" always dies, and what you're left with, if you're lucky is "love". Friendship, companionship, caring, sharing your burdens, laughing together, listening while the other vents, choosing birthday and Christmas presents for your other half, knowing that he or she loves you (even if they're not "in love" any more), forgiving, accepting, loving. Sharing your lives.

Maybe that's not "chemistry". But it is magical. Yet to get there takes hard work from both of you. Like a beautiful garden, it doesn't just "happen". It's made.

A bit low

2011-12-15T12:21:00.000-08:00

Jane Austen writes, in Sense and Sensibility I think, about one of her heroines that she was "struggling against a tendency to feel low". That's how I feel right now. And I'm wondering whether it's worth doing all my writing and blogging and editing. I do it for fun, but sometimes .... I wonder whether it's worth all the very hard work. Certainly, I make zilch from it.

My back hurts, my knees hurt, my feet hurt ... LOL, I'm a proper catalog of tedious ailments.

Never mind. It's almost the weekend (Friday here in Oz) and it's my lady's birthday this Sunday so we'll celebrate. Meanwhile, I'll list (again!) all the arguments about why I should be happy.

Majorca Flats -- 267

2011-12-14T11:43:00.000-08:00

“I'm going to call mymate in the Police now,” said Michael. “Is that OK?”

Luigi nodded. Codydidn't speak.

“Hey, Colin—Sorry tocall so early in the morning—Yeah I can hear Julia yelling in thebackground—What's wrong with her?—That's no good. Something I'vegot to look forward to. Mate, I've got somebody here who needs totalk to you urgently.—Yeah.—Yeah, it's important, veryimportant—I mean it Colin, ya drongo.—In fifteen?—Yeah. I'llsee you there.”

He snapped his phoneclosed and said, “OK, we'll meet him at the police station infifteen minutes. He's just dealing with his daughter Julia who'sbeen sick all night. So he's helping his wife with the kids andstuff.”

Luigi was still sittingnext to Cody. Cody slumped even further and Luigi squeezed his hand.

“Hey, Coads, it'll beOK. I'll be with you.” He looked at Michael.

“Yeah. I'll stay withyou too. And Colin … he's a good bloke. He's not like the oldpolicemen, who're a homophobic bunch of wankers. He won't judge you,Cody. Remember, you're the victim here, and he'll see it that waytoo. He's a mate of mine. He's in our footy club and cricket cluband he's a top bloke, really. The problem will come, if itcomes, when the detectives and the higher-ups arrive. And just incase, I'm going to involve my dad.”

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Episodes 1 to 220 (without pictures, 10 episodes per chapter)

David Owe

2011-12-14T03:33:00.000-08:00

My lady and I have been watched Oernen (I can't do the Danish O-slash so I've used 'Oe'), The Eagle, a police serial set in Denmark. One of the actors in it is the very pretty David Owe. I think his surname is pronounced something like 'Oova' but my Danish is not very advanced though I can make out a lot of the written language because I know Afrikaans and German.

Anyway, a pic of this beaut bloke. Isn't he just the cat's whiskers?

What I look like

2011-12-13T12:47:00.000-08:00

Ppl often ask what I look like, so I decided to show you.

Gay Marriage

2011-12-12T19:26:00.000-08:00

Former PM's wife, Loree Rudd, has left the Labor Party in disgust because the Labor Party Conference endorsed support for gay marriage. Ms Rudd said:

"I don't believe gay marriage is good for the community," she said."Homosexuals should be loved and treated right and they should not be discriminated against. It is a horrible thing for them to be discriminated against and that's why my brother* introduced laws so they are not discriminated against. But to make that huge leap from their rights to breaking a commandment of Moses, to say homosexuals' relationships is marriage, is utter nonsense."

I liked this comment:

I wonder which definition of marriage Ms Rudd likes best from the Bible? Gen 20:12 Abraham marrying his Sister? Gen 16:3 Sara then bringing her Maid Hagar into the relationship? Deut 22:28 A rape victim must marry her rapist and get 50 shekels, Judges 21:7-23 Marry the enslaved virgin girls of the village you slaughtered? Chronicles 3:1-9 David had 8 wives and his son was told by God to cohabit with his fathers mistresses Sam 16:21, or maybe Kings 11:3 where King Solomon had 700 wives and 300 mistresses.....

It's a wonderful world.

*Kevin Rudd, former PM. Isn't she a cutie? And let's not get started on "commandments of Moses".

Majorca Flats -- 266

2011-12-12T11:37:00.000-08:00

Luigi sat down next toCody and took his hand.

“Coads, if you letyourself get broken by what that bastard did to you, he'll have won. You have your whole life ahead of you.”

“It sounds OK … but …I feel … dirty. I … I can't explain it, Lou.” He pulled hishand away from Luigi's, and put his head into his hands.

Luigi felt a surge ofintense rage build in him. Not towards Cody, but towards the man whohad done this to him. Generations of Sicilian ancestors who hadfought bitter vendettas rose up in him and he knew the chillcertainty that if he ever got the opportunity, he would personallysend the killer to hell. He didn't let his deep anger show to Cody. Instead, he took Cody's hand back and said, “Coraggio, mioamore. We will fight back. And we will win. Eat now.” Andas if he was feeding a baby, he offered the scrambled eggs little bylittle to Cody, holding the spoon up to the other man's mouth andmaking little encouraging noises while he did it. His own scrambledeggs grew cold on the plate.

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Episodes 1 to 220 (without pictures, 10 episodes per chapter)

Majorca Flats -- 265

2011-12-11T17:32:00.001-08:00

Michael stepped backfrom the door and gestured them inside.

The cottage inside wassmall but charming, so carefully and tastefully decorated that Luigibegan to wonder whether Michael wasn't after all gay.

“Come through here.” Michael ushered them through to the kitchen. He filled and put onthe kettle and said, “Scrambled eggs on toast?”

Luigi spoke for Codyagain when he accepted. “Can I help?” he asked.

“Plates are in thatcupboard over there,” replied Michael gesturing to a worn dresserin the corner.

Cody sat down at the ableand didn't speak. His eyes were hollow and his face expressionless. Luigi glanced at him, now very worried. He would have to talk soon,talk properly. Rape, torture, nearly murdered. Even the sanest andstrongest would be profoundly affected by such things. And Luigi wascertain that Cody wasn't very strong. He also wondered whetherCody's wife would be able to help him. When she found out what Codyhad been doing when he'd been taken by the murderer, she would be soangry and so unhappy she would want to lash out. She would bedealing with her own issues as well as his. And if Cody were thrownout, or he left her, how would he cope? He didn't know how much Codyloved her, but even if he didn't much, he must love his children. For a moment Luigi was lost in the memories of being a toddler and asmall boy, before the pressure to be straight started, when hisparents still loved him.

“Eat something, Coads,”he urged. “It could be a marathon session with the police. You'llneed to keep your strength.”

But Cody barely shook hishead, staring at the table-top.

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Episodes 1 to 220 (without pictures, 10 episodes per chapter)

Matt Cooper

2011-12-11T11:32:00.001-08:00

A rugby player

Majorca Flats -- 264

2011-12-10T15:35:00.001-08:00

Luigi as I imagine him

“Have you hadbreakfast? No point in racing down to the police station since the …”Michael hesitated for a second “... killer ... is long gone. A cupof tea and some quick brekkie will set us up for everything we've gotto do this morning.”

“Michael, you've doneso much for us already—I dunno. We don't want to impose.” WhatLuigi really wanted was to take Cody right away from there and helphim start rebuilding his life. But he knew that that wasn’t goingto happen, that the effects of what had happened might stay with himfor ever.

“Your mate here wasnearly killed. What kind of a person would I be if I could just walkaway from that?” He stopped for a minute. “You've had a brushwith evil,” he said to Cody, “and you need … well … look, therest of us must try and offset that. Try and make up for it.” Hespoke simply and hesitantly, as if he was embarrassed at having tomake the explanation. To him, his actions clearly seemed completelylogical and right.

Luigi felt an immediaterush of liking for the other man. So he smiled, little aware thateven with straight men, his beauty was so extraordinary that when hisface was filled with happiness or affection it made him irresistible. Michael's smile in return was startled.

Luigi looked at Cody andthen back at Michael and accepted for them both. Cody was in no fitstate to make rational decisions.

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Episodes 1 to 220 (without pictures, 10 episodes per chapter)

Wilde Oats, Issue 9

2011-12-10T14:12:00.001-08:00

Well, at last it's finished. The final sprint to the finishing line always takes longer and is harder than I remember it. But it's up!

I may be biassed, but I reckon Wilde Oats is the premier gay-shaded fiction magazine on the web. In this issue we have ten new stories; reviews; opinion; and an interview with .... me!

You can read it here.

I'm working on Wilde Oats

2011-11-30T20:56:00.001-08:00

I'm working on Wilde Oats and I'm pretty busy. So for the next coupla days, you're prolly not going to see anything substantial from me.

Meanwhile, I thought you'd like some eye candy.

Normal programming will be resumed in a day or two, and I'll be posting then new chapters of Footy, ElvenSword and I Get No Kick From Champagne, as well as new episodes in the ongoing drama of the boyz and girlz from Majorca Flats.