They lay together in the
afterglow. Esmé knew that it wouldn't last, this happiness, this
contentment. Keith was gay, and one day he'd find a man he really
loved, and they'd get married. But “sufficient unto the day the
evil thereof”. She would worry about that when it happened. She
snuggled up to him.
“Hi, beautiful!”
said Keith.
“Hi yourself,
sexylegs.” She put her head close to his. She could hear his
breathing slowing. “So are you fucking Jace and Lou?”
“Yeah. And Tom. I'm a
slut, amn't I?” But he didn't sound sorry.
“What happens when you
find Mr Right?”
He pulled her closer, and
drew the bedclothes over them against the late night chill. “Maybe
I have.” He stopped for a while. Just as she was about to break
the silence, he said “I have this draim. Of you and me and Jace,
sharin' a house and a life.” He was silent again. “I know it's
a draim. It'll never happen. Things daon't work out like that.
See, Ezz, I'm gay enough to need a man in my life. I daon't want to
have a wife and then cheat on her behind her back. Like Cody with
Lou. And I don't want casual pick-ups. I mean, they're hot and all
that, but … I want love. There isn't room for people like me in
this world. The gays think I'm a fake, that when I like women I'm
pretendin'. The strights think I'm just another hypocritical homo.
All that stuff. All those expectations. Fuck it, Ezz, I love ya and
I love blaokes too. Settle daown they say. But I'm me! Not
them. And naow I'm hurtin' ya, roight?”
Unable to speak, she just
kissed him. Yes, he was hurting her. Oh yes. But if he changed, he
wouldn't be Keith any more. The sparkle would go out of him. She
didn't want that. But she didn't know whether she could take him as
he was.
She'd been right. The
happiness didn't last.
Episodes 1 to 180 (without pictures, 10 episodes per chapter)
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