Down

I am often very happy.  Sometimes I find myself filled with joy.  I look at the world and despite everything it seems beautiful.   The daffodils coming out now; the spring air, the soft light, the new buds, and the unbearably sweet calls of the birds.  Yet it always seems that something comes along to screw that up.

Tonight my knees and my feet and my back ache.  My big day is over, the children have gone back to their homes.  My lady's watching films with headphones on.  The aging dogs dream and snuffle.  There's nothing I want to read; I don;t feel like writing; and I don't have any films I feel like watching.

So I am ... down.  Not as bad as I was a few years ago, but not as filled with joy as I was just before I went for my swim last week.

I expect it will get better.  Tonight, though, all I want to do is crawl into bed dosed up on painkillers and sleep until morning.