Because Blogger's "Adult warning" often goes into a perpetual loop (isn't working properly), I will be making all new posts at my WordPress blog. You can follow it even if you do not have a WordPress Account. There're also my Twitter and my Tumblr blog, my Facebook and my Google+ page and my group.
(Update: Blogger hasn't fixed its problem with the "adult warning". Will go back to posting at my WordPress blog)

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Grief and Remembrance

A wise bloke once said to me that it takes a lifetime to make a real friend, but you can lose him in a minute; yet it takes just a minute to fall in love, and you can take a lifetime to get over it.

For the most part that's true.  But every so often, you can fall in friendship just like you fall in love.  I met a bloke on-line, about 4 years ago now.  Within weeks we were as intimate as if we'd known each other all our lives.  He was married with one kid, I was married with three.  He was a lot younger than me, but that didn't occur to either of us as anything important.  I haven't become so close to anybody since I met my best friend 43 years ago.  We fell in friendship, not in love.

Both of being us gay-shaded males, there was also the obvious issue of sexual attraction.  Maybe more might have come of that if we weren't both married and faithful.  But even while accepting that that might have been so, what really connected us wasn't sex.  It was love.  What attraction there was came out of our love for each other, not the other way round.  And it was a selfless love.  I remember when he told me he'd reconnected with a man who loved him very deeply (his first two marriages didn't work out) wandering around the whole day in a daze of happiness.  I loved him so much, and wanted him to be happy.  And he was.  For a while.

Roughly three years ago he was diagnosed with colon cancer.  He's been dead now two years today.  He was a profoundly good man, and blessed my life while he was in it.  I miss him more than I can say.

Dligo tson, drûgon moin, jus i tathro.

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