I won't say anything to mum. I think dad genuinely misses you, but you know he's putty in her hands. So I won't tell him. And it's max wonderful that gran is coming to see you. Can I come too, one of these days? Though that would give the game away, wouldn't it? Both me and gran flying off to Australia when we've never done it before!
I know you blame yourself for what happened with Brent. And I'm not going to argue with you about blaming yourself. But, Jacie-Dacie, none of us is perfect. I remember once gran dragging us off to morning service at the church at home. Canon Green (I do like him --when I play chess with him, I let him win, you know how dithery he is) did a sermon about forgiveness and said that forgiveness is not the same as just ignoring wrong that's been done to us. That wouldn't be forgiveness. Real forgiveness, he said, was when you accepted that you had been done a great wrong but that you chose to not hold a grudge about it despite that. That you accepted the fallibility and weakness of humans. Because we're all human so we're all likely to hurt another person even if we don't mean to. He's such a nice man, and you know he really lives like he preaches. But the way I see it, you have to forgive yourself.
I know you won't listen. :-)
But I love you anyway. And I know Brent would too.
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