I know a guy who, because he had an easy time with growing up gay, maintains that prejudice against gays, especially gay teens, is over.
Alas not. Hunter's latest blog post details some more gay teen suicides and the lily-livered and shameful response of the education authorities, following up on my previous post about this topic.
I suffered misery at school. I was an outsider, I was gay (though I didn't know it), I was effeminate. I was beaten up nearly every day. The scars still remain, physical and mental. I am partially blind in one eye as a result of bullying. I am still afraid to go into a room of strange men. I never go to a bar by myself, for example. I used to try everything I could not to go to school. For me my days at school were very far from the happiest days of my life.
It's shameful that lonely unhappy people can find no one to turn to, that their teachers, fellow pupils, and even the churches do not help. Love one another as I have loved you. Yeah, right.
[The painting comes from Joe Clarke's blog]
5 comments:
Adolescent boys are all hopped up on testosterone. Sex is a major subject of discussion. There is a sort of homosexual intimacy here. Boys feel a bond in their common obsession with sex.
Enter the gay boy, who can not enter into this sexual intimacy with hetero boys, because they are the objects of his sexual longings. The group of boys feels they have been rejected by the gay boy. He will not join in their intimacy. He is stuck up. He denies his sexual desires. So the gay boy is treated as an outsider and an enemy.
Sometimes I think many macho guys' objection is not to gay itself, but to gender dysphoria
They are simply extremely uncomfortable with males who in some way act "girly".
Someone once chided me for being too friendly with an effeminate type. I think they are always perceived gay, but that is seldom the case.
But what do you think about my earlier assertion that bullies lash out at gays because gays seem to reject them?
You may be right.
In my case though, and in this case , they accused me of being effeminate (a "moffie") long before I even knew about sex or they did. I was just different. I was 8 or 9 when they started beating me up. I didn't know what the epithet meant (I'd never heard the word "homosexual") and nor I'm sure did they. But it was clear that it was a mortal insult. Like calling a young kid "gay" would be today in America or England or Oz. They wanted to hurt me. They wanted to punish me for not being like them.
And this was still at the age when boys aren't really interested in girls.
Bullies inflict lifelong unhealing physical and mental anguish. I don't want to believe kids can be so cruel and I constantly find myself trying to explain their actions. I want them not to seem so heartless. I want to understand them. I don't though.
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