“Luigi, first … look, it's been worrying me a lot since we … Look … I'm not straight. I know I pretended, but ...” Jason paused for a minute, still keeping a tight grip on Luigi's hands. “I have had girlfriends, but I'm gay. I lived with a man. I was in love with him. His name was Brent.” Then, to his shame and chagrin he found himself unable to speak. He wiped his eyes on his sleeve.
“What the fuck are ya doin' to Jase?” Keith loomed over them, big, angry, protective.
Jason let go of one of Luigi's hands and grabbed Keith by the other. “Siddown,” he growled past the lump in his throat. “Just siddown and fucking listen!”
He looked at the other men, one after the other, and when he was sure they were ready to listen, he began.
“I met Brent at a cricket game. It was lust at first sight. And love too. Oh jeez, so much love. He was playing for the other team, and afterwards we went for a beer which became two and then three. And it was as if there was electricity between us. We couldn't stop looking at each other. He was so sexy in his cricket whites, smelling of sweat and earth and him. I wanted him so much. I hadn't really thought about being 'gay'. There'd been a guy at school and I'd thought I loved him, but it wasn't like I felt gay or anything. I'd had girlfriends and it was good, the sex, and ...” and Jason struggled to be honest, to explain it all properly, “... and being close to them. I mean, Lou,” and he turned to look at Luigi, “I could have got married and probably the marriage would have worked, because … well, because I can have a relationship with a woman. But then I met Brent.”
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